Aloha Friday #2

Yay, it's time for Aloha Friday again! To participate, head over to An Island Life, and follow the instructions!

This week's question:

What is something cute or funny a child in your life has said recently?

Just yesterday, my kids were playing "school" together. I was cleaning up the kitchen in preparation for making Rice Krispie treats. Sky noticed I was getting the ingredients out, so he ran to Sara and said, very seriously, "Teacher, I promised my mom I would finish making Rice Krispies with her. I need a day off today." I was cracking up in the kitchen! Guess what the "teacher" said?! "O.K." Can you tell my kids are homeschooled?!!


On a more serious note... I guess I'm thinking about my kids a lot today and am reminded once again how precious every day with them is. I found out today that a dear friend of mine lost her little baby boy about a month ago. His name was Lucas and he was about 18 months old when he went to be with Jesus. He was born with Charge Syndrome (you'll have to Google that) and had many complications, issues and pain throughout his short little life. I hadn't checked MK's blog lately, so I was not aware that Lucas had passed away. I spent some time reading her blog and just cried and cried. I felt guilty for not knowing before now. There was one particular poem she posted that I want everyone to read. It's heart wrenching, but beautiful. It's called "If I Knew." Please read it - you'll be glad you did...

When I Grow Up...

O.K., O.K., I know I've been awful about posting lately! It does mean I've spent less time on the computer, which is always a goal for me... I posted the other day, but alas, I lost the whole thing when I went to change the font! I was so not happy! I will try to recreate what I wrote...

Recently, one of my dearest bloggy friends, Nadine, posted about how quickly our children grow up and spread their wings and fly away from us. It was a sweet reminder to cherish those little moments while we can. I must say, that is not my natural tendency. Usually, I'm waiting impatiently for them to grow up. The night before I read Nadine's post, I was reminded of the sweetness of childhood while I was putting Sara to bed. I promised Nadine I would blog about it!

We had had a difficult evening. I was being a selfish Mommy and Sara was just being a little girl. She was playing with her toy mixer and dishes while I was mixing up some meatloaf. I got frustrated with the water she was spilling everywhere and the room she was taking up, and over-reacted. I banned her from the kitchen and I could see the hurt in her eyes. She cried and cried and I knew I'd hurt her spirit. Why do I do that? It took me until the next day to apologize. Even before I'd apologized, I know that she had forgiven me already. That night she snuggled with me while we read our bedtime story. When I tucked her in bed, I kissed her, and stood to leave. She reached her arms out to me and wanted an extra hug.

She squeezed me tightly and said, "You're my little, favourite Mommy!" (My kids always call me their little mommy!)

I said, "Well, that's good, cause you're my favourite little girl."

She continued, "And I'm going to come visit you lots when I grow up!" Then she added, "With my husband!"

I laughed, "O.K., good night!"

It warmed my heart, but also reminded me that someday she will grow up...and move away...and get a husband...and I won't be the one kissing her before she goes to bed each night. She won't always be around to "help" me cook and bake and make messes. Someday I'm going to miss that. And I want to enjoy it while I can.

Hurry Up - We're Late!!

A few days ago, my friend, Mindy, blogged about her thoughts on being late. To read what she had to say, click here. I responded with a very long comment. Here were some of my own thoughts.

"Interesting you would post this! I was just late yesterday to a birthday party, and it caused me great stress along the way. (Be sure to scroll down to the next post to see pictures of a very fun and unique party!) I do agree with your statement. I was raised in a family that was also right on time or a little bit early. It's definitely easier to hold to that conviction when you have only yourself to worry about. After I got married, things got slightly more complicated, but we were still on time. Then, we had kids! As a mom, being on time is definitely a challenge! It seems that no matter how organized and efficient I am, something always comes up. You wouldn't believe how many times I've gotten everyone in the car, and then have to come back in because the baby just pooped in their diaper or spit up all over the car seat and themselves. Or when you're potty training and suddenly, they have to go potty "right now," but they don't quite make it and we have to go change... Anyway, you get the idea. Yesterday for the party, we were on schedule and all was well. We had rushed to get to that point, but we were O.K. On the way, I was going to stop at Wendy's and grab burgers for everyone to eat in the car. Well, wouldn't you know, the drive-thru was closed and the line inside was incredibly long! We got back in the car, having wasted 5 minutes. Down the road a bit, I stopped at Dairy Queen. Would you believe, there was a truck sitting in front of the ordering console, with all their doors open and the hood up! What?! Now, if this had been just me, I would have simply gone to the party. But, my young children were very hungry by now. So, I raced to the other side of the parking lot to Starbucks. I picked up banana bread slices for everyone and smoothies. Finally, we were headed to the party. (There is a reason for this story - stay with me!) As we were driving, poor Sky picked up his smoothie, by the lid, spilling it all over his Peter Pan costume and his car seat. I freaked and started yelling. Sky was crying, Sara then started screaming. We got to the house and I roughly cleaned up my child, scolding him the whole time. Once I finally calmed down, I noticed he wasn't having any fun at the party. His little face was so crest-fallen. All because Mommy got extremely stressed out about being 10 minutes late and took it out on him. I apologized, with hugs and kisses and the rest of the party went great. I've done that so many times with my kids. Being on time shows definitely shows respect for other people, but being angry with my family because something out of my control made me late, is not acceptable. So, I learned a few lessons yesterday... And your post was a good reminder to keep trying each time to be as organized and on time as possible."

What about you? How do you feel about being late? What lessons have you learned in this area of your life?

How Do I Respect Thee? Let Me Count The Ways...

This post is part of a "blog carnival" about showing respect to our husbands. I stumbled upon this fun idea from a new blogging friend at Titus 2:3-5. The idea for this came from the book, "Love and Respect," by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. (To read more about the book and the original idea for this carnival, read this post. Saves me having to type everything!) Joshua and I had the privilege of attending part of one of their Love and Respect conferences about 4 years ago. It was eye-opening for both of us, and one of the most truly helpful marriage conferences we had ever been to. We bought the book a couple of years ago, meaning to read through it together, but that never happened... Then, I read about this carnival and I started thinking about this thing called respect again. It sounds so simple - to respect your husband - but why is it so hard? I was glad this was brought to my attention, because I know I haven't been doing the greatest job in this area lately. On Titus 2:3-5, ET had some questions to answer about respecting our husbands, so I'm going to just go with that.

What do you do or say that shows your man that he's "the thing" in your life? How do you make him feel special, valued, necessary, even heroic?

Like I said, I haven't been doing such a great job, so here are some things that I know I need to start doing or doing again like I did at some point in our marriage.

I can almost see Joshua stand up straighter when I simply thank him for doing things like mowing the lawn or taking the car to get washed or packing the car for a trip, etc. In the past, I've tucked little notes in his lunch box to say thank you for working so that our family can have all the things we need and even so many things we just want! I also try to listen closely when he talks about work and actually ask intelligent questions in response - you know, instead of "um-hmm."

Something that I actually do on a regular basis is to get up with Joshua every morning (O.K., most mornings) and make him breakfast. Nothing fancy, just tea, peanut butter and honey toast, and a piece of fruit. I also put together his lunch and snacks for the day. The girls at work are always teasing him about it and calling him a spoiled baby, but they're just jealous! I know it really makes him feel special and respected when I do that for him every morning.

Another thing that makes him feel respected is when I clean up and organize the clutter spots around the house. I'm not so good at this one either because I usually just get defensive or make excuses. This one is really important to him and I know it makes him feel respected when I treat it like it's important to me too.

I'm not sure about the heroic part - I'll have to ask him about that one! I'm pretty sure he felt heroic when he built the railing on our deck this spring, complete with built-in benches! (I made sure he read my blog post about that one so he could see that I was bragging on him to everyone!) And when he planted 3 new trees in our yard all by himself!

What mistakes have you made that made your loved one feel crummy, unimportant, and disrespected?

I don't like this one as much... I do way too many things to make my sweetheart feel disrespected, I'm afraid. Like when I correct his parenting - in front of the kids. Or when I don't make an effort to clean up the house before he comes home in the evening. (I said "make an effort" not "have it perfect!") Or when I criticize him when he's trying to help me around the house. Or when I just simply take him for granted and never say "thank you." Or when I ignore his physical advances. Or when I'm too busy with the kids to notice him. (His love language is quality time.)

So, I have some work to get done around here - it's called RESPECT. I'm praying for God to show me how to do this more diligently and consistently on our marriage.

How about you? How would you answer these questions? If you want to be involved in this RESPECT carnival, the instructions and questions can be found here. This is just a place where we can all gain insight, share ideas and encourage one another so that our marriages may be strengthened in some way. I hope you'll join in!

The Daffodil Principle

My father-in-law passed this e-mail along to me the other day. I just read it this evening and I thought it was really beautiful. I couldn't keep it to myself, and I wanted to share....


The Daffodil Principle

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over.''

I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead. "I will come next Tuesday", I promised a little reluctantly on her third call.

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and reluctantly I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house, I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.

"Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see badly enough to drive another inch!"

My daughter smiled calmly and said, " We drive in this all the time, Mother."

"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her.

"But first we're going to see the daffodils. It's just a few blocks," Carolyn said. "I'll drive. I'm used to this."

"Carolyn," I said sternly, "Please turn around." "It's all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience." After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road. On the far side of the road, I saw a hand lettered sign with an arrow that read, "Daffodil Garden."

We got out of the car, each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight.

It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.

"Who did this?" I asked Carolyn.

"Just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That's her home." Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house.

On the patio, we saw a poster. "Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking", was the headline.

The first answer was a simple one. "50,000 bulbs," it read.

The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain."

The third answer was, "Began in 1958."

For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop. Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived.

One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration.

That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time, often just one baby-step at a time and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world, eh?

"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty five or forty years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years? Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. "Start tomorrow," she said. She was right. It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, "How can I put this to use today?

"Use the Daffodil Principle. Stop waiting.....

Until your car or home is paid off
Until you get a new car or home
Until your kids leave the house
Until you go back to school
Until you finish school
Until you clean the house
Until you organize the garage
Until you clean off your desk
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married
Until you get a divorce
Until you have kids
Until the kids go to school
Until you retire
Until summer
Until spring
Until winter
Until fall
Until you die...

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

So work like you don't need money. Love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching. If you want to brighten someone's day, pass this on to someone special. I just did!Wishing you a beautiful, daffodil day!

Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.