Yesterday was exhausting, hopeful, stressful, and encouraging all rolled into one big ball of emotions. I'll try to be brief.
The doctor:
- I didn't like the unattractive, poorly lit office. Bad vibes right from the start.
- The doctor was rude to Sky right off the bat. She (the doctor) asked Sara what grade she was in. Before Sara could answer, Sky blurted, "Grade 2!" She looked at him, with no smile or teasing in her voice at all, and said, "Are you Sara?"
- I was informed on the phone that this appointment was strictly for meeting the doctor and gathering family history. I kind of hoped that we could address the autism issue a little, but after telling myself that probably wouldn't happen, I left my list of concerns and symptoms at home.
- I was forced to explain all of Sara's "faults" while she sat right next to me. My heart was breaking and I was stumbling all over my words, trying to say things with as many big words or vague terms so that Sara would be spared as much as possible.
- The doctor was obviously not a big fan of homeschooling. I didn't like the tone of her questions, especially the ones about socialization.
- I left with a requisition for a urine test at the lab (Sara still has daytime bladder control problems quite frequently) and the referral to a neurodevelopmental clinic.
-I also left wanting to cry, but I found the courage to paste on a smile and stay upbeat for Sara's sake. Poor kid. She didn't say much, but I can only imagine how she was feeling. I know I felt like an idiot.
- The referral is the one good thing I got out of the visit. I have to fill out a couple of forms, return it to the doctor, who will then send it to the neurodevelopmental clinic. She said the clinic would probably not give me booking until we had the results from Sara's academic assessment back. I'm getting Shelley's help with the form (my friend who worked with autistic kids).
Interview with Susan Peacock:
- Completely different atmosphere - my nerves were soothed immediately.
- When Susan came out to call us into her office, she looked straight into Sara's eyes and kindly said, "And you must be Sara!" That was not lost on me.
- Her first question was, "Have you explained to Sara what we're doing?" Her concern for Sara as a little person was very evident.
- The conversation with Susan was easy, relaxed and full of hope. She wanted to know the struggles, but she also wanted to know Sara's strengths.
- She wrote everything down which showed me that she cared and that she was going to be thorough. She never made us feel stupid for anything we shared. If it was important to Joshua or I, she made it important to her too.
- Susan affirmed us as parents and as Sara's teachers. She said something very early on in our conversation that I will never forget. She said, "Because you are homeschooling Sara, you are already 99% ahead of all the other (schooling) options out there." I think Joshua and I both really needed to hear that from an "expert." I was so encouraged with how pro-homeschooling she was.
- She assured us that at the end of this assessment, we would have answers and would be equipped with tons of ideas and suggestions to help Sara as we continue to homeschool. She was incredibly positive and we so needed that as a family.
- Sara's first one-on-one session with Susan is next week on Tuesday, at 10 a.m. She's going to try 2 hours to begin with, and see if Sara can handle that much. If not, she said we can cut the sessions back to 1 1/2 hours or even down to 1 hour if we need to. Our total number of hours with Susan will come to about 11 hours, so we'll just get there at the pace that's right for Sara.
- Sara seemed comfortable enough with Susan. A little shy, but that's to be expected! Joshua and I laughed on the way home, because by the end of the hour with Susan, Sara was exhibiting some very ADHD symptoms! Being cooped up in an office for an entire hour with nothing much to do, except listen to adults talk, will do that to you! I talked to Sara at bedtime. She said she liked Susan. I told her that if she felt nervous about anything or had questions that she could talk to me about it anytime.
- The beauty of this assessment, as Susan explained, is that it really doesn't "matter" what or how Sara does with the activities and testing. She doesn't have to get everything right or meet certain goals. Susan just needs to find out how Sara learns and where the glitches are. Then, Susan shared that there are really two ways to deal with those glitches. You can either find a way to detour around a learning problem and get at it another way, or once you know what the difficulty is, you will know how to fix it altogether in some cases. She said there is rarely something that comes up that you would just throw your hands up and say, "Oh my, there's nothing we can do about this - we're just going to have to live with it!"
- Today, I'm so excited to start! Last night, the stress of the day, got the better of all of us. Sara had a meltdown at suppertime. In the midst of trying to resolve that, Joshua and I ended up at each other's throat's (I know this NEVER happens at your house!), so the rest of the evening was rather tense. I woke up feeling terrible. I finally let the tears come - the kind that almost make you throw up... After venting to my dear friend, Karen, on the phone, I feel much better! Thanks Karen, for listening!
I want to thank each one of you, again, for the incredible prayer partners and support you have been to me (us). For those of you on Facebook, who have sent me long messages, thank you! I will reply to each one of you, but it's going to take me awhile to get to all of them. I have been so encouraged and I feel very loved by each one of you who have taken the time to read my epic posts and even care about them!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Yesterday's Outcome
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
9 Years Ago
December 10th, 1999 was a beautiful day! We were married in Niles, Michigan in a little white chapel. I've been reminiscing all day about the wonderful friends and family who came to celebrate with us on our wedding day.
I had to include this picture, because two of my bridesmaids are very much a part of my bloggy world. Jennifer, with the pretty smile on the far left, can be found at Life With The Burk Family. Karen, the cute blond on the far right, is the one who got me into this whole blogging thing! I keep up with her crazy life at Snakes, Snails and Puppydog Tails! Jan, my maid of honour in the middle, keeps up with me on Facebook.
This is one of our engagement pictures, taken just a few weeks before the wedding, on American Thanksgiving, 1999.
This picture was taken, 9 years later, on Canadian Thanksgiving, 2008! We're still in love and I still melt when he smiles at me!
So much has happened in the past 9 years. Those stories can wait for another day. It has been a crazy journey, full of ups and downs. I'm not one of those people who would say that I'd do it all over again or even that these 9 years have been the best years of my life. There have been some wonderful moments that I will cherish forever. There have also been some moments that I regret and wish didn't happen. One thing I know - God has been in every moment of our marriage whether we acknowledged Him or not. And God will continue to be there, with His never ending grace. Today we celebrate! May there be many more years of celebration and love.Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Being Real
Today is kind of a weird day. We were supposed to get our annual family picture taken after lunch. I spent the morning preparing everyone, like any good mom does before a family picture! Bathing the kids, getting everyone dressed, plucking my eyebrows...:-) Our friends, Miguel and Melissa, are in town today from Calgary. Joshua went to seminary with Miguel, and I think they did more than their fair share of creating controversy in the classroom! Then, Miguel met and fell in love with Melissa! They asked Joshua to perform the wedding ceremony and he agreed to do it. That was a year ago, in July. Now, they have a little one on the way! The plan today, was to have lunch and then, do a family photo session with Melissa, who is an amazing photographer! (I just discovered her blog today and it is a must-see! The pictures are so beautiful, they just might make you cry!) Anyway, Miguel e-mailed this morning to say that Melissa had spent half the night in the emergency room. They think all is well, but of course, they were exhausted. They still made the trip up here this morning, but felt it was best to re-scheduled the photo session. We had a nice lunch with them, but it was evident they needed a nap! Our family is going to Calgary next week, so we'll be doing the pictures next Friday. I can't wait! Melissa is so very creative!
Tonight we are going to Joshua's parents for supper. I'm happy I don't have to cook! Now I need to go do some housecleaning. There is much to do before our house guests arrive for the weekend. I don't feel like doing anything, though. I've been feeling very tired and lonely lately, in spite of the busyness of life. Lots of things going through my head and heart. Wanting to help Sara understand Math (even 2+2 would be a miracle right now)...feeling disconnected from my husband and praying for a way to break down the wall...missing my old friends...wanting to make a difference somewhere, somehow and feeling like I'm stuck in a hole. I need a day just to think and pray and process life, but that just doesn't happen. Life marches on and I try to keep up. It's been a bit overwhelming lately. I don't mean to put a damper on any one's day, but I've realized lately that I don't spend enough time being "real." Life is not about being happy and upbeat all the time. God created many different emotions for a reason. So, I share my feelings so you can know the real me, so I don't have to walk this life alone. After all, that's the name of my blog, "Sharing Life With Peggy." Maybe I could help myself and others a little bit more if I weren't so darn concerned about image all the time...
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Happy 30th, Sweetheart!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
How Do I Respect Thee? Let Me Count The Ways...
This post is part of a "blog carnival" about showing respect to our husbands. I stumbled upon this fun idea from a new blogging friend at Titus 2:3-5. The idea for this came from the book, "Love and Respect," by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. (To read more about the book and the original idea for this carnival, read this post. Saves me having to type everything!) Joshua and I had the privilege of attending part of one of their Love and Respect conferences about 4 years ago. It was eye-opening for both of us, and one of the most truly helpful marriage conferences we had ever been to. We bought the book a couple of years ago, meaning to read through it together, but that never happened... Then, I read about this carnival and I started thinking about this thing called respect again. It sounds so simple - to respect your husband - but why is it so hard? I was glad this was brought to my attention, because I know I haven't been doing the greatest job in this area lately. On Titus 2:3-5, ET had some questions to answer about respecting our husbands, so I'm going to just go with that.
What do you do or say that shows your man that he's "the thing" in your life? How do you make him feel special, valued, necessary, even heroic?
Like I said, I haven't been doing such a great job, so here are some things that I know I need to start doing or doing again like I did at some point in our marriage.
I can almost see Joshua stand up straighter when I simply thank him for doing things like mowing the lawn or taking the car to get washed or packing the car for a trip, etc. In the past, I've tucked little notes in his lunch box to say thank you for working so that our family can have all the things we need and even so many things we just want! I also try to listen closely when he talks about work and actually ask intelligent questions in response - you know, instead of "um-hmm."
Something that I actually do on a regular basis is to get up with Joshua every morning (O.K., most mornings) and make him breakfast. Nothing fancy, just tea, peanut butter and honey toast, and a piece of fruit. I also put together his lunch and snacks for the day. The girls at work are always teasing him about it and calling him a spoiled baby, but they're just jealous! I know it really makes him feel special and respected when I do that for him every morning.
Another thing that makes him feel respected is when I clean up and organize the clutter spots around the house. I'm not so good at this one either because I usually just get defensive or make excuses. This one is really important to him and I know it makes him feel respected when I treat it like it's important to me too.
I'm not sure about the heroic part - I'll have to ask him about that one! I'm pretty sure he felt heroic when he built the railing on our deck this spring, complete with built-in benches! (I made sure he read my blog post about that one so he could see that I was bragging on him to everyone!) And when he planted 3 new trees in our yard all by himself!
What mistakes have you made that made your loved one feel crummy, unimportant, and disrespected?
I don't like this one as much... I do way too many things to make my sweetheart feel disrespected, I'm afraid. Like when I correct his parenting - in front of the kids. Or when I don't make an effort to clean up the house before he comes home in the evening. (I said "make an effort" not "have it perfect!") Or when I criticize him when he's trying to help me around the house. Or when I just simply take him for granted and never say "thank you." Or when I ignore his physical advances. Or when I'm too busy with the kids to notice him. (His love language is quality time.)
So, I have some work to get done around here - it's called RESPECT. I'm praying for God to show me how to do this more diligently and consistently on our marriage.
How about you? How would you answer these questions? If you want to be involved in this RESPECT carnival, the instructions and questions can be found here. This is just a place where we can all gain insight, share ideas and encourage one another so that our marriages may be strengthened in some way. I hope you'll join in!