It's Only Been 7 Months...

Yesterday I got a haircut for the first time in 7 months! I've never been one for getting my hair cut on a consistent basis, but I think this is a new record for me! Since it's such a momentous occasion, I thought you might like to see pictures.

Here I am, squinting in the sun. Joshua likes the sexy little flip over my eye, but it's driving me crazy! I think I got about 4 inches off. It feels great!

This is the way I'll be wearing it around the house until the little flip grows out a bit!This week is official haircut week because the kids got theirs done on Monday! They love going to Beaner's, a kids hair "salon" here. It's a really fun place, complete with T.V.'s playing cartoons at every chair, a ball pit, and free lollipops! Sara got blue "hair" braided into her hair, so she's having fun showing that off. Here's a pic...

The Sign On My Back Reads "Please Run Me Over!"

Monday was Family Day in Alberta (and Ontario). It's actually an official holiday, so Joshua had the day off! Since moving to our new home, we aren't as close to the mountains as we used to be while living in the Calgary area. It used to take us only an hour and a half to get to the closest ski hills. Now, the nearest one is in Jasper, 4 entire hours away! It makes the one day ski trip, either very, very long (especially for children), or it necessitates an overnight stay. Then, you're talking about major expense because lodging in Jasper doesn't come cheap. Joshua went skiing in Jasper once with his dad for one of those VERY long days (up at 4 a.m. and home around 7 p.m.) just after Christmas. Then, Joshua and I were able to go with Bryan and Karen two weeks ago. We were feeling badly that kids hadn't had a chance to ski in the mountains this year, so we decided to splurge and take them for Family Day. Joshua's dad also joined us in Jasper, so that took some of the pressure off me. For those of you who don't know, skiing is not really my most favourite thing to do. I tolerate skiing but, I do not LOVE skiing - much to the chagrin of my dear husband.

Here's picture of me, Dad, Sky and Sara (left to right) on our first run down the mountain on Monday morning. It was an absolutely beautiful day!Sky joined me after a few runs for a break and a snack. He wanted iced tea and brownies!Sara was not about to go inside, so she and Daddy headed up for another run!Now I must tell you what happened to me after lunch. My family convinced me that I should go with them to the very top of the mountain (instead of just the chair that takes you to about halfway). It involves taking two chair lifts to get there. After you get off the first one, you have to ski down a short "Blue" run (that's intermediate for you non-skiers), to get to the next chair lift. There hasn't been any new snow lately in Jasper, so there were some pretty icy spots on the runs. I was slowly, but surely making my way down, just trying to get that part over with. My little racing children had already disappeared with Grandpa! As I made another turn, suddenly, another less-than-confident skier, came right across my path and we ran into each other. She managed to stay on her feet (I found out later), but I lost control, fell backwards, and began sliding down the hill FAST! At first, my legs started to go in the wrong direction, but I somehow managed to get them back together. Now, my skis are pointed straight downhill, and I was still attached to them!! I had a lot of thoughts going through my head in the next 10 seconds, but my foremost feeling was anger. I was so incredibly angry with that woman for making me fall! I screamed my head off as I hurtled down the hill, desperately trying to make my skis go sideways, so I could dig in and stop! I didn't care what kind of a scene I was making - I just wanted that girl to feel REALLY bad for taking me out! I finally stopped, still in one piece, with a very painful spot in my middle back. Not to mention my extremely wounded pride! Joshua, who was right behind me, has dubbed me with "the most spectacular fall that anyone has ever made while I was skiing with them!" Oh yay! As Joshua helped me up and returned my poles, I demanded to know where the girl was who ran into me. I was informed she stopped momentarily, looked at me still falling, and proceeded on her way. Can you believe it??!! I was TICKED! If I took somebody out like that, I would not just ski away without apologizing and offering to help! It's probably just as well, though, because I was mad enough to beat her up! Karen, I told you I had a sign on my back! (A snowboarder ran into me last week, while I was trying to help Karen ski. Fortunately I was standing still, and didn't fall over. And I was glad it was me and not Karen!) Anyway, I finally made it onto the second chair lift and all the way up the mountain. I had a little venting/cry session on the way, which made me feel much better!

Here I am, with Sara and Sky ready to head ALL the way down the mountain! It was truly an incredible view! And I lived to see it! I also made it down without further tragedy! Sky went on a Blue run with Grandpa, and I went down the Green (easy) with Joshua and Sara. Sara was looking out for me the whole way and made nice, slow turns so I could follow her down. She's a sweetie!
Halfway down, I stopped for a break at the mid-mountain lodge. I enjoyed some time by the outdoor fire pit, drinking my Gatorade! This was my view as I waited for the rest of the family to ski some more runs. When they came back, the kids were glowing because they skied their first Black (expert) run! I was proud of them, but you'll never catch me on one of those!
We finally skied out to the parking lot and got comfortable for the long ride home. We stopped for supper and a car wash (yes, Karen, the same one!) and arrived home around 9:15 p.m. Then it was goodnight to another great Family Day!

Aloha Friday #9

It's Aloha Friday already! It came fast this week! So, you know the drill by now. I will ask a simple question and you give me your answer. It's kind of my day to take a break from blogging. Thanks to Kailani over on An Island Life for the original idea. If you'd like to link up and participate, head on over to her blog, and follow the instructions!

My question for the week:

Are you an early morning riser or a late night owl?

I have always been a night owl! I get that second wind around 10 p.m. and feel like I could stay up all night. I hardly ever go to bed before 11 p.m., but many nights I'm up even till midnight. I've actually been told that it's a problem with my adrenal glands, so I'm on some herbs from my herbalist to help get me to bed earlier and wake up happier. (Mornings are generally not my best time of the day!) Fortunately, I don't have to deal with children who get up super early. I trained my children from the beginning, to not get up early, so they're usually not up till 8 or 8:30 a.m.

Names In The Sand

I wanted to share something very special with all of you. First a story, and then a gift that I received this weekend.

In addition to our two beautiful children, Sara and Sky, some of you may not know that we have two babies in heaven with Jesus. After Joshua and I had been married for only 2 months, we were overjoyed to find out that I was pregnant with our first child! Our joy turned to great sadness and heartache, when our little one was miscarried during my 10th week of pregnancy. (March 2000) We were never able to see or hold this tiny baby, but we named "him," Jeremiah. Just a few months later, I was pregnant with Sara and obviously, she was born safely and happily in our arms 9 months later! When Sara was almost a year, I became pregnant again. At the time, we were packing to move to Canada, and Sara was learning to walk! I hardly had time to think about this next baby inside of me. We moved and were just trying to get settled when I began spotting and cramping. I was in my 11th week. Our second little angel went to be with Jesus a few days later, right around Easter of 2002. Because of the life upheaval we were already experiencing at the time, I found that I never had the time to grieve this child. We named "him" Michael and went on with life. It wasn't until many months later, that God walked me through a true grieving process for this second child we had lost. It has now been 9 and 7 years since God took our babies to be with Him. I am now able to share and talk about my miscarriages without a flood of tears. The Lord has allowed me to minister to many friends through the years when they've gone through similar heartache and pain. I am grateful for that. Someday, I will meet my babies in heaven, along with three siblings who were also born too soon. For now, I rejoice in the gift of the daughter and son that I have the privilege of holding in my arms!

A few months ago, I found a blog that has really touched my heart. It's called "To Write Their Names In The Sand... A Moment Captured, A Life Honoured" This beautiful woman, Carly, lives halfway around the world in Australia. She is so full of love and compassion, and her blog is an amazing ministry to those who have lost babies and children. Below, is the gift she gave to me.

It was incredibly emotional for me to see my babies names written in the sand in such a beautiful way. I really can't even find the words... I will treasure these pictures forever.

I want you to see the post on Carly's blog, so please click here to go there. It is a beautiful, peaceful place. It brings tears to my eyes every time, but they are tears of healing. If you have ever lost a child, Carly will also write your child's/children's names in the sand. If you scroll all the way to the bottom of the blog, you will find her e-mail address and instructions. Thank you, Carly, for what you did for me and what you have done for so many families. You are a wonderful, beautiful person!

Mom's Have Feelings Too

This morning was one of those times I realized how very vulnerable I am as a mom. I've never been good at pretending to feel one way, when I actually feel another way. I suppose that's a good thing to some extent, but there are times when it just isn't wise to let it all hang out... I'm not one of those moms who always says the right thing or who can always portray the appropriate attitude. I was the one literally screaming when Sara put a small pebble up her nose last year! There was no, "Okay honey, it's going to be O.K. We'll take care of everything, sweetheart, don't you worry." No, it was complete panic and wailing and mayhem in our house!! I was scared and yelling, Joshua was mad and yelling, Sky was hiding and poor Sara was completely traumatized! You get the idea! (BTW, the pebble came out on it's own while she was waiting for the doctor to come in!) O.K., so that was a MAJOR rabbit trail! The story I set out to tell, started last night...

Joshua took the kids to ski racing lessons last night after a hurried supper. I usually, spend that evening doing something for me, like reading a book or blogging or Facebook, etc. But, because of a book I've been reading lately, I decided to forget about me and do something that would benefit the whole family. (Another rabbit trail that I'll save for later.) Things have been quite unorganized and disjointed with school and household chores. To put it bluntly, I've been lazy. Haven't cared about much of anything besides my own feelings of pity and depression. I finally got fed up with myself last night. I cleaned off and organized the school room table (should've taken before and after pics - it was dramatic!), put together a unit project folder for Sara (printing things off, cutting out things), threw tons of paper items in the recycling bin, cleaned up the kitchen, and made up a new morning/school routine. When everyone got home, I gave both kids a shower, got them to bed, cleaned up a few more things, and folded two loads of laundry before crashing into bed at midnight. I was tired, but I was ready for a new day! And I was pretty excited too!

In the morning, as soon as Sara got up, I cuddled with her and explained that things were going to be different. I told her that the T.V. was not going to get turned on, that Mommy was not going to spend half the morning on the computer, and that school was going to start much earlier. I also told both kids that I now expect them to get dressed, and make their beds, and put away jammies before they even come out of their rooms. (I will be doing the same thing - jammies have been my new favourite outfit lately!) She took it well, and happily went up to get dressed and fulfill the other chores. We had breakfast and I was ready to start school at 9 a.m.! But, Sky slept in, so he got up right about then and I had to start over with the schedule explanation and breakfast. O.K., so now it's 9:30 a.m. and we were ready to go. I pulled out Sara's new project folder and we got started. To make a long story a little shorter, after a few little power struggles, things started to go downhill fast. Sky was bored and whiney and wanted to do a magnet experiment. (Granted, I DID promise that we could, but that was one thing I didn't get to last night...) Sara didn't like what we were doing and kept telling me "no" about everything. I was having trouble explaining what a coal mine was, and we ended up in a complete meltdown. I called Daddy, mad as anything and asked him to talk to Sara. Then, I got on the phone and started listing my woes. I was absolutely bawling by the time I was done. Poor Joshua! I said we'd just wasted an entire hour with fighting and whining. He said, it's just an hour, so try again. I didn't see it that way. Why was I so upset? Well, I got my feelings hurt! I had gone to all that effort to make a fresh start and have a great day, and all my kids could do was throw it back in my face. After I got off the phone, I had tears streaming down my face. The kids were looking at me with big eyes. I said, "Do you know that Moms get disappointed about things?" "No," they replied. "And did you know that you can hurt Mommy's feelings?" Again, "No." So, I explained to them how I wanted everything to be all nice and fun. I told them that it really hurt my feelings when all they could do was whine and complain all morning. They just looked at me, but I think they got the point. There wasn't much complaining after that and I think we even managed to have some fun by the end of it all. I even succeeded in explaining a coal mine. I typed "coal mine" into Google search images and got some great pictures! What did Moms do before the days of Google?

So, it was an emotional morning, but I'd have to say it was a good day overall. My biggest challenge in life is being consistent. I know that if I can stick with this new schedule, the kids will get used to it. Actually, it's more me that needs to get used to it! I really like reading blogs and checking Facebook while the kids eat breakfast in front of the T.V. every morning. But, that half hour that I say I need, can turn into 2 hours very quickly. Then we don't have time for every subject we need to cover in school, and the consistency thing comes to haunt me again. Sara desperately needs consistency in order to retain anything. I haven't been the greatest at that for her, but I want that to change. I never want my laziness to be the reason she can't learn to her fullest potential.

One of my favourite quotes is from Anne of Green Gables, "Tomorrow is fresh - with no mistakes in it." I'll take it one day at a time....

The Christmas Party

It's after midnight and I need to be in bed, but I wanted to give an update about the party. I survived! It was beautifully decorated, complete with ice sculptures on the buffet tables. (I forgot the camera again! Joshua took this picture of me after we got home!) The food was excellent. Each table seated 8 people, but our table only had 4. For various reasons, the other people were not able to come at the last minute. So, Joshua and I shared the table with 2 single girls. They were actually easy to talk to and we had fun with them. There was a quiz sheet at each table with Christmas-y questions to answer. We had to answer them all together and submit our sheet to the "judges." It was a lot of fun! Does anyone know the country of origin for the poinsettia? I took a wild guess, and everyone agreed to write it down. It turned out that I was right! I'll tell you what...If you leave a comment with the correct answer, I'll enter you into a draw for a prize. Seriously! I've been wanting to do a giveaway, and this is perfect! Tomorrow I'll let you know what the prize is.

Anyway, back to the party... No one that we talked to tonight was drunk and we left as soon as the dancing and loud music began. The presentations and speeches were a little long-winded and boring, but it could be worse! We didn't win any door prizes, but that's O.K.! Thank you so much to everyone who prayed tonight. My father-in-law, who has worked for the bank for 19 years, was the one who prayed before the meal. He said a little bit before he prayed about remembering true meaning of Christmas. It was nice to hear that.

Oh, and I have to apologize for unintentionally lying about the number of people at the party. Joshua told me 1,000 (he was totally guessing), so I just quoted him. Oops! The official number was actually 552!

Here's one more pic, a self-portrait we took after we got home! The kids did great at home with the babysitter, so all in all, it was a good evening. Have a wonderful weekend everyone! Tomorrow I'm going to post a bunch of pictures from the last week - and I'll post a picture of what I'm going to give away!

Tonight

There are so many things I want to write about today, but I think most of it will have to wait for another day. Tonight is the bank's Christmas party where there will be about 1,000 people in attendance! I have many mixed feelings about these parties. This will be our third one since Joshua started working for the bank. It's always a beautifully festive atmosphere, with yummy food and lots of prizes being given out. It's just that the "celebration" is never about the real meaning of Christmas, and I always leave with such an empty feeling. After the meal, there is so much drunkenness and music so loud that you have to shout to the person standing right next to you. Joshua always wants to stay to make the rounds to greet some "important" people with the bank (another thing that bugs me, the fact that certain people are considered more important than others, just because of the money they make...). Every girl likes to dress up in a beautiful dress, and fix her hair and make-up just right for special occasions. But, this occasion is hard for me. Am I the only one who feels like this? Anyway, please pray for me tonight - that somehow Jesus' love will fill my heart with joy inspite of the worldliness around me.

Before The Day Is Over...

It's almost time for bed, but I wanted to post a couple of things before I head to the warmth and softness of my down comforter. (It is COLD out there!) Thank you to all of you who posted comments on my last post. I have been strengthened and encouraged by your love, support and prayers. I thank God for the wonderful friends that He has brought into my life over the years. Today wasn't the best day of my life or anything, but it helps to know I do not walk alone and that I am loved!

The other thing I wanted to share is something that greatly encouraged me as a homeschool mom. I've shared a couple of times how I've struggled to teach Sara and how she's struggled to grasp what I'm trying to teach. It's hard for me to be transparent about this because there is so much comparison stuff that goes on with moms. Some parents realize they're doing it, but I really believe some don't. It's really painful when I feel like it's my child always "falling short" some how. Last year Sara was not reading at the same level as her peers. It was a daily, uphill battle. Finally, in February of this year, something clicked and Sara began to progress in reading! It has been such a joy to watch her learn new things everyday and actually get excited about reading! But, this year we are struggling with Math. Not just the normal, "we need to brush up because we forgot over the summer" kind of thing. It was like no comprehension whatsoever. What happened to everything we did last year? I actually got to the point where we stopped doing Math at all. I felt paralyzed and helpless. On Monday evening, I was able to get away to attend a monthly meeting with the Christian homeschool group I've joined. I had the chance to talk to a mom, Sherri, who specializes is something called mediated learning. Another mom I talked to awhile ago, told me that she thought Sherri could help me. It was so good to talk to her. She assured me that I was not alone. She understood my feelings of failure. She offered her continued support and monitoring of my situation. And she said a lot of things I needed to hear. As she spoke to me, I just started crying - right there in front of this stranger! It's just that she seemed to know exactly what was in my heart. She recommended a little booklet called "An Easy Start In ARITHMETIC," by Ruth Beechick. I think I remember books by this author hanging around my mom's library when I was being homeschooled! Last night I took some time to read through the book. It was so enlightening. She explained some things about how a child learns math that just blew me away. I've been frustrated that Sara can only do math problems with manipulatives. I've been told, "Well, that's all fine and good, but she really should have her additions facts memorized." Mrs. Beechick explained in the book that a math problem written out, like 2+2=4 is the third and final mode of learning math! Those are abstract symbols and most children don't even fully comprehend what they mean until Grade 3. Manipulatives are NOT a crutch - they are a necessary part of development and learning! I have manipulatives and we use them a lot, but I keep taking Sara away from that and expecting her to fill out a workbook page full of abstract symbols. Today we did Math for the first time in weeks! It wasn't much, but we did it! Sara used blocks to tell me that 2+2=4. God gave me my miracle! And she even said to me today, "We're not going to do a paper, are we?" I replied, "No, no we are not!" And I'm O.K. with that. There were so many ideas in the book about how to use "real-life arithmetic" as you go through each day. And that playing games is an excellent way of learning math. I can do that! Today was a baby step, but we'll take one baby step each day and eventually get somewhere.

Being Real

Today is kind of a weird day. We were supposed to get our annual family picture taken after lunch. I spent the morning preparing everyone, like any good mom does before a family picture! Bathing the kids, getting everyone dressed, plucking my eyebrows...:-) Our friends, Miguel and Melissa, are in town today from Calgary. Joshua went to seminary with Miguel, and I think they did more than their fair share of creating controversy in the classroom! Then, Miguel met and fell in love with Melissa! They asked Joshua to perform the wedding ceremony and he agreed to do it. That was a year ago, in July. Now, they have a little one on the way! The plan today, was to have lunch and then, do a family photo session with Melissa, who is an amazing photographer! (I just discovered her blog today and it is a must-see! The pictures are so beautiful, they just might make you cry!) Anyway, Miguel e-mailed this morning to say that Melissa had spent half the night in the emergency room. They think all is well, but of course, they were exhausted. They still made the trip up here this morning, but felt it was best to re-scheduled the photo session. We had a nice lunch with them, but it was evident they needed a nap! Our family is going to Calgary next week, so we'll be doing the pictures next Friday. I can't wait! Melissa is so very creative!

Tonight we are going to Joshua's parents for supper. I'm happy I don't have to cook! Now I need to go do some housecleaning. There is much to do before our house guests arrive for the weekend. I don't feel like doing anything, though. I've been feeling very tired and lonely lately, in spite of the busyness of life. Lots of things going through my head and heart. Wanting to help Sara understand Math (even 2+2 would be a miracle right now)...feeling disconnected from my husband and praying for a way to break down the wall...missing my old friends...wanting to make a difference somewhere, somehow and feeling like I'm stuck in a hole. I need a day just to think and pray and process life, but that just doesn't happen. Life marches on and I try to keep up. It's been a bit overwhelming lately. I don't mean to put a damper on any one's day, but I've realized lately that I don't spend enough time being "real." Life is not about being happy and upbeat all the time. God created many different emotions for a reason. So, I share my feelings so you can know the real me, so I don't have to walk this life alone. After all, that's the name of my blog, "Sharing Life With Peggy." Maybe I could help myself and others a little bit more if I weren't so darn concerned about image all the time...

My Birthday Gift

My birthday isn't until next Tuesday (the 11th), but I already got my gift from Joshua and I wanted to show it off! New dishes! Do you like them? My favourite part is the colour. I also really like the simplicity. My old ones had a pretty busy pattern. They had also started to wear out in the middle, so that every time you scraped them with your utensils (which is every time you eat!), it would leave a permanent grey scratch. I've wanted new ones for a long time, so I got to pick these out over the weekend. Guess where we got them? IKEA!! Of course! Thanks, Sweetheart!

Tough Week

After the excitement and busyness of the weekend, I'm feeling tired and cranky. The unpacking is down to the detailed stuff like decorating, organizing books and office things, hanging pictures, etc. My emotions are up and down and my energy is pretty low. Things are moving slowly and that has caused some tension in the home. (I don't think I need to be more specific!) I started some homeschooling this week, which cut into unpack time, but we really needed to get going. And of course, there's still laundry, meals to cook, dishes to wash, children to spend time with, grocery shopping and all those other things that just never end. I can't just leave all that and devote my time to unpacking and organizing. But, somebody, wouldn't like that either... Anyway, you get the idea... It's just been a tough week and we could use some extra prayer around here.

More About Me

My sweet friend, Judith, has "tagged" me to answer a few things about myself, so here goes!

4 jobs I have had:
1. Babysitter
2. Life Action Happiness Club worker
3. Life Action Singer
4. Mother to Sara and Sky

4 places I have lived:
1. Quito, Ecuador
2. Brownsville, TX
3. Upper Peninsula of Michigan
4. Lodi, Ohio

Favourite TV shows:
1. CSI Miami
2. Supernanny
3. Amazing Race
4. So You Think You Can Dance

Favourite Food:
1. Mexican
2. Brownies
3. Chicken on the grill
4. Biscuits with butter and honey

Places I would rather be:
1. The ocean
2. On a cruise
3. Life Action
4. Visiting my family in El Paso

Favourite movies:
1. Sound of Music
2. Kate and Leopold
3. The Guardian
4. The Village

And now I tag:
1. Jen Wade
2. Beth Chretian
3. Suzanne Poffenburger
4. Meghan Prescott

You can answer through your own blog, the comment section, or Facebook comment section! Look forward to learning more about you!